Life of a Mary Sue Part One and a Half
by DragonFang2011
Summary: Some of you have read Life of a Mary Sue. But what happens after that? The torturing begins... I'm sorry it's so horrible! I was rushed... Guaranteed Mary Sue suffering.


**DISCLAIMER**: I DON'T OWN ANYTHING BUT MARY SUE

Considering that so many people wanna kill her... including me...

I'm so sorry that it's so horrible.

* * *

"So we take it you've all met Mary Sue here," Sophie said, gesturing to the beautiful rainbow-haired girl tied to a pole with Fanfiction-made rope. Despite being an all-powerful and perfect character, Mary Sue didn't use her magic to get out, because she's stupid like that.

The mob shifted uncomfortably. "Not all of us," someone muttered.

"The random people who just want to torture someone can stay!" Selen yelled.

This provoked a loud cheer from the crowd. People waved their guns, knives, inflatable bats, clown masks, torches, pitchforks, and other torture devices in the air. Their surroundings were charged with excitement and the thrill of blood-lust. Mary Sue looked all too happy for the attention, and had the nerve to dip her head and smile brightly. "Thank you for coming!" she said.

Someone lobbed a tomato at her face, but she still managed to look perfect.

More cheering.

Argo quickly pulled Ian—the one who threw the tomato—back in line and high-fived him with the hand that wasn't holding a broken baseball bat with iron nails sticking out of it. Enzo was just full-out laughing, even though at The Time of the Stupid Sue, he'd been stealing from—uh, I mean shopping at—a candy shop.

"Die, Sue!" a random person from near the back of the line yelled, shaking an ax at the Sue. In her other hand, she was holding a laptop. Her face was streaked with black war paint. In case you haven't figured it out, this was the author of the story, who was behind fifty-seven people, and who was itching to have a swing at her horrible and ghastly creation. "I should go first, because I wrote this story about Mary Hoshina Star Grace... um... um..."

"Life ain't fair, kid," Julian Konzern said, snapping his fingers. His butler came up and gave him a sword. "Is this sharp enough to your liking, Lord Konzern?"

"Sharper!"

"Did Julian just say 'ain't?'" Klaus whispered to Wales.

Wales shrugged. "Move it, people!" he yelled. "I've got a nice big tank of carnivorous piranhas here, just waiting for someone to chew on!"

Hikaru got the first shot. "Fifty times per person!" she announced.

Mary Sue—once realizing that they were serious (she's that stupid)—struggled against the ropes dramatically. "If you let me go, I will go on a date with each of you!" she cried desperately. "I'll even battle you, Ryuga!" She batted her eyelashes sexily at him.

He made a face. "So not K-A-W-A-I-I D-E-S-U," he snarled.

Everyone stared at him.

"I refuse to say those words."

Unfortunately for Mary Sue, the boys have gotten their Anti-Mary Sue shots ($49.99 each) and therefore are immune to her charm and beauty. For those who hadn't been able to afford the shots, Julian had thrown money at them. Because that's how much he hated Mary Sue.

Hikaru got ready. Then, she whacked Mary Sue on the head with a metal bat, which didn't even make a dent in her lovely head.

Hikaru: 1 out of 50

"Ow!" Mary Sue cried, sobbing beautifully. "That hurt, Hikaru! Did I forget to mention that my skeleton is coated in adamantium? And I have three metal claws on each hand? And that I have a healing factor, 'coz Imma part vampire?"

Wolverine and the X-Men crew got in line. Somehow, the guys there had gotten their shots, too.

"Plagiarism!" Striker yelled.

Professor X stood—much to the surprise of everyone—and waved his wheelchair in the air. "I hate you so much, I can walk again!"

"I love you all!" Mary Sue replied.

"Let's get on with it, Hikaru!" Lera said. "The antidote can't last forever."

Hikaru nodded and started stabbing Mary Sue in the stomach with a rusty kitchen knife. Golden ichor (blood of the gods) poured out. Mary Sue started screaming, and the crowd started taking pictures excitedly.

_38 stabs later..._

"Ow..."

Hikaru walked to the back of the line, ready to wait for a second turn.

Selen was up. She wrapped a piece of rope around Mary Sue's neck and started pulling on it, effectively choking her. "DIE, SUE! THIS IS FOR THAT RANDOM GUY I LIKE!" she shrieked, pull, pull, pulling on the rope.

"I'm still alive!" Mary Sue sang in that beautiful voice. "But my throat is rather sore. Will someone massage it for me? Pretty please, with cherries on top?" She made kawaii-eyes, but only got pelted with rotten food, stones, and the occasional dead animal.

Selen put on a chain-mail glove—courtesy of Julian—and slapped Mary Sue with it 34 more times, relishing every single slap. She hated that Sue with a burning passion. The random guy she liked grinned at her, and she smiled back.

It was Madoka's turn.

The brunette pulled out a laptop...

And hit Mary Sue in the face with it, shattering the laptop into pieces. "Die, woman!" she screeched. "This is for Gingka!" She rummaged around in that large bag she was carrying and produced another laptop.

_49 laptops later..._

Madoka hit Mary Sue one more time... with a dead fish she'd picked up from the ground.

"She went over her limit!" Mary Sue whined. "And now I smell!" She sniffed beautifully.

Everyone shrugged—they were all planning to do the same, anyway.

_After about 37 people..._

"No, Julian, no!" Mary Sue cried, sobbing gorgeously. "We're siblings! Please don't do this, brother! I love you!"

"You are a disgrace to the Konzern family!" Julian announced. His butler brought him a large, evil-looking black suitcase and set it on the ground. He flicked the lid open. Inside was an array of torture devices—from knives to lighters, from safety scissors to big-people scissors, from needles to barf bags.

"Can I borrow that?" Damian shouted. "I'd love to kill her!"

"No!" Jack snapped. "I'll be the one to kill her! I will make art out of her face!" He held up a knife.

"She has a healing factor, moron! Your 'art' will fade!"

A fight broke out in the crowd.

"NO!" Mary Sue screamed. "Please no! Please don't fight! You guys are all part of the same world, the same universe! Mutant or non-mutant! Authoress or character! We must always stick together! We're all people—we're all friends here!"

"Objection!" Rago called out.

"You should all be able to get along! The bladers have battled one another—you should work together! The Blader's Spirit is about two spirits clashing in battle! Eventually, you become friends! That's what Beyblade is all about! Bladers Spirit!" She was smiling, looking abnormally sexy.

For a millisecond, the guys wavered.

There was silence. Then: "KILL THE SUE! KILL THE SUE! KILL THE SUE!"

Fang (AKA DragonFang2011, the authoress) clutched her head. "My ears are bleeding!"

"Hurry up, Julian!" Gingka yelled. "I want a shot at her now! She reminds me too much of me!"

Everyone was silent once again. Gingka shrugged.

They resumed chanting. "KILL THE SUE! KILL THE SUE! KILL THE SUE!"

Wales poured gasoline over Mary Sue and Julian lit her on fire.

Everyone cheered.

"AGH!" she screamed. "I'm like, part vampire and stuff, so I'm dying! Why is this happening? I'm so perfect and beautiful and talented and kawaii desu! I don't deserve this, right? Everyone loves meh! Right?"

She died beautifully.

Then: "But I'm also an immortal Phoenix!"

"B*ITCH!" Ryo yelled. He put on his Immortal Phoenix costume. "There's only one Immortal Phoenix, and that's _me_!"

"Omigawd, Gingka's dad!" Mary Sue gushed. "You're like, so hawt for an older person!" Her cerulean-blue-for-five-second eyes twinkled like beautiful stars before changing into amethyst-purple. Her skin sparkled.

Kyoya threw a rock at her.

14 turns later, the torture fest ended, because Julian had given Enzo a fancy gun, which unfortunately didn't come with an instruction manual, so the Brazilian had accidentally held it backwards and blasted himself in the eye. "That's not water!" he'd said. "My eyes are burning! NOT AMAZING, HUH?"

"I'm still alive!" Mary Sue started sobbing cutely. "Someone please hug me! I've been through so much! It hurts!"

Suddenly, Gingka blinked and got a dreamy look in his eyes. "I'll hug you!" He pushed his way through the booing crowd and hugged Mary Sue. They kissed, receiving more boos. Then, he untied her.

"Mary Sue FTW!" Hyoma shrieked, stroking Mary Sue's perfect golden wings.

You can guess what happened next.

"KAWAII DESSSUUUUUUUUUU!" Ryuga screamed, running towards Mary Sue with his arms outstretched. Mary Sue was oblivious to Gingka's jealous scowl and started running towards Ryuga. They met in a perfect and romantic and kawaii desu hug. He twirled her around.

"Where did all the sparkles and bubbles come from?" Sophie asked. "And the romantic violin music? And why is the sky pink and glittering? And not that I'm complaining, why the hell is Wales taking off his shirt?"

Wolverine chopped a tree branch off with his adamantium-coated claws and started carving some weird-looking lump out of the wood. "It's a gift for Mary Sue!" he announced out loud. So far, his gift looked like crap.

Sabertooth growled. "I'll win her over!"

"Think again, stinkball."

Fang the Authoress started crying. "Oh, God, what have I done?"

Madoka sighed in resignation. "Who's up for cake?"

The girls raised their hands. Fang dropped her ax on the ground next to a passed out Kyoya Tategami—whose nose was bleeding from Mary Sue's beauty and was muttering something about Mary Sue and marriage—and trudged away in disappointment.

* * *

_In the B-Pit..._

"A toast to our partly-victorious-yet-horribly-failed scheme!" Fang said through a mouthful of mango cake. She raised her half-full can of mango juice. "We'll try again tomorrow, girls! And we won't fail!"

"Yeah!" Madoka cheered. "For Gingka!"

"For Bao!" Motti said. "And my big brother, Johannes!"

"For Wales!" Sophie looked at her Beyblade.

"For Aleksei!" Lera declared.

"For Kyoya! Or Ryuga! Or Hyoma! I don't know! I'm so confused!" Hikaru face-palmed at herself.

"For that guy I like!" Selen said. "I don't know his name!"

"For our boys!" Fang yelled, throwing the cake knife at the Mary Sue dartboard on the wall. It hit the picture of Mary Sue right on her perfect little nose. "And for killing my horrible creation, Mary Hoshina Star—ah, forget it! For killing Mary Sue!"

* * *

Sorry that it's not very funny. My mom was rushing me.

I thought Ryuga had decided not to say "KAWAII DESU!" anymore...


End file.
